1st Treatment of New Phase

Yesterday was the 1st of the 13 remaining treatments. This time around I only have to do 2 of the 3 (only Hercepton & Perjeta; no Taxotere). The Taxotere which was the one that brought my immune system down, caused hairloss and the other side effects experienced previously. The only side effect I experienced yesterday (and today) is fatigue which is really nothing-barely worth mentioning-TGBTG God blesed me to get my weights in at the gym Monday-Wednesday of this week and then cardio in this morning before work. He's blessed my strength to increase-still not what it was but I'm thankful for the progress. I'm also thankful I don't have to take any meds for side effects other than the pre-meds that they give at the the beginning of each treatment. My CT scan (in prep for radiation) has not been scheduled yet, but as mentioned in the previous post, radiation is not scheduled to commence until March 10th. This morning's daily devotional was a good reminder as this new phase of treatment kicks off. It focused on part b of Psalm 62:5, but really the whole verse was/is quite fitting. It reads, "My soul wait thou [look for help] only upon God; for my expectation is from Him." We're to look to God for our help [our healing, our deliverance, to meet our needs, to be our source of joy, our daily bread, etc.] He's the only one we can ALWAYS expect to not only come through but to be right on time and on point when He does. I'm thankful for all of those whom He has worked through but ALL credit and ALL glory belongs to Him. In this phase of treatment God is still the One I'm looking to and the One in whom my hope rests. He's the One who's brought me thus far in this journey of overcoming and the One who is going to bless me to OVERCOME. The formula we continue to work from by God's grace is Faith + Works. Faith-trusting God, believing God, expectation in God + Works-treatments, following doctors'orders. Can't have one or the other-gotta have both.

Doctor's Appointment: Next Steps

As mentioned towards the end of the previous post, today was the day that I was scheduled to meet with my oncologist and breast care doctor. I was thankful to recieve all of the information regarding the next steps in the treatment process in one appointment rather than 2. The next steps are as follows: 1)Complete a total of 17 rounds of the Hercepton & Projeta which were both administered as part of chemo(after 4 rounds of chemo, I have 13 left) The 1st of the remaining 13 is scheduled for Thursday of next week. 2)Radiation Monday-Friday for 6wks; 30 min per day-beginning on March 10th. The radiation will be administered to the breast area and armpit area for the majority of the treatments but for the last 8 the radiation will be focused on the tumor bed area and scar. In preparation for that I will have to have to have a CT scan done, to ensure that they focus on the right areas. Another blessing was realized during today's appointment-my doctor commented that patients typically gain 20lbs from the chemo that I recieved. I was blessed to lose 15lbs-losing bodyfat was especially beneficial to me because of the link between bodyfat and estrogen production. She also mentioned that the tumor when they removed it was only 5 milimeters-very small-TGBTG! Now hearing that I would have to have radiation in the armpit area was unexpected and upon hearing that, I was a little disappointed since that's where complications can sometimes come in when lymph nodes have been removed from that area, but just as God is always on time and on point with everything, this morning's daily devotional did not deviate from that, focusing on 3 words, "He hath said." God reminded me through those 3 words not to forget nor let go of the scriptures that He had given me and the words He had spoken to me from the beginning of this journey until now. God has kept me and blessed me, escorting me Himself all the way through thus far and I know He's still got me now. Also keeping everything in perspective, what's left treatment wise is really not much at all comparted to what He's already brought me through and I believe that He's already brought me through the worst part of the treatment process. Yes He's been with me the whole way, been my strength, my keeper, my provider, my EVERYTHING but I'm so thankful that He never tires, that He never runs out of love, strength or anything else and He is Great, Mighty, and Awesome EVERYDAY. That's the God in Whom I trust. That's the God who's still got me. Btw I don't think I mentioned in previous posts but I'm trying to let my hair grow. My daddy has cut it for me several times as I'm enjoying my do :-) but since God is blessing it to grow I'm trying to give it a chance and to see what my new hair texture will be. I was encouraged as one of my big sisters-in Christ said to me that she was pretty sure that whatever grows will be perfect for me and further saying that my locs were perfect, that my shaved head was beautiful as well and concluding that part of the convo with, "you don't think that your Heavenly Father would settle for anything less, do you?" She had a point-God NEVER makes mistakes. Gotta trust Him with my new hair too.

A Few Highlights & an Update

Just a few highlights and an update... My mom and dad flew in from California towards the end of last week to visit for a few days. I don't get to see them often because they live out of state but as I have mentioned in a previous post my mom checks on me daily and she was the one God blessed me through to take care of the out of pocket expense for my surgeries and procedures. I can't remember the last time we spent Valentine's Day together. I was glad to see them. On Saturday while eating out with them, towards the end of our dining experience, the waiter looked at me and said "is it cancer?" In response to his question, I was able to share what God had done in regards to the battle/journey to overcoming thus far and to my suprise he shared that in November of last year, at the age of 19, he had been diagnosed with testicular cancer and that while he had to take a break from school and from work for a while to heal up from surgery, he was now doing well, back in school (and work), and majoring in biology before going on to me a radiologist. It's really something how God works because my degree is in biology, when he heard that he asked me how it was-I was honest and said it was a challenge and tried to give him a little practical advice but prayerfully meeting someone who had the degree he was seeking was an encouragement to him that God could bless him to get there too. When he shared about his testicular cancer, he said he never tells anyone about it. He also told me to stay strong. I'm glad God arranged things the way He did and moved upon him to share. That was a pretty AWESOME experience-only God could orchestrate that. He has a way of reminding us in one way or another that He's still right there with us. This past Sunday was the first time in a good while that I was able to not only go to fulfillment hour (Sunday school) but also sit in the congregation rather than in the balcony with the sound&tech team. Of course nothing against them but I missed the rest of my church fam and while I'm also thankful for the live streaming it's not the same as being there in person. BLESSED God continues to bless me to make progress towards getting my arm back up to where it was flexibility and strength wise-last week continuing continuing to use stretch it via touching the top of the door frame every time I left bathroom, using it more to put dishes up (reaching up to the top shelf in my cabinet) but also some light weights and getting some workouts in, here in my apartment-working chest (including push-ups though not as many as I used to be able to do but still thankful), shoulders, triceps and even got a little leg work in. Still have an area on my triceps that is kind of numb and sleep feeling, similar feeling under my arm too but should only be temporary and it has not caused an issue as I work to build that arm back up-thankful for that. Yesterday God blessed me to get the drain taken out and today I was back in the gym hitting the weights :-) Friday I have an appointment with my oncologist as well as with my breast care doctor. I should find out more details about the next steps (radiation, and further treatment via infusion- the 2 drugs that I will have to continue recieving via my port to complete a total of a years worth).

Surgery Follow-up: drain still in but cancer OUT

I was looking forward to the surgeon removing the drain today but I've had an increase in output and today between 8:30 this morning and the time that I saw the surgeon, I was already close to the volume that I should be at for the day (morning & night), so I'll have to keep it in and call the office on Friday to report volumes and possibly come in to the office so he can side it out and if the volumes are not where they need to be, wait until sometime next week. If the drain is removed prematurely, I could develop a big bubble of fluid under my arm that is "uncomfortable", that they would have to poke a hole in and drain-"ain't nobody got time for that." It was also good to hear that the incisions are healing up nicely. I do have an awkward-muscle is alseep- type feeling in part of my tricep area but he said that was good that I still had some kind of feeling and that he had worked really hard to work around and save the nerves in that area during surgery-I think that's why it took so much longer than expected-thank God for answered prayer-so many others have been praying for me throughout this journey and in addition to those petitions on my behalf-in prayer in the operating room holding area before this last surgery daddy asked God to guide the surgeon, causing him to do what needed to be done and how it needed to be done)-"many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails" Proverbs 19:21 The surgeon may have originally planned a fairly brief procedure (1hr) but I believe God moved in him to really take his time to try to work around the nerves in that area. Speaking of the surgery, the GREATEST PRAISE Report of the appointment is that based on the pathology-only 1 of the 10 lymph nodes(less lymph nodes than anticipated) that were removed this time around had a microscopic amount of cancer with all of the other lymph nodes coming back negative-they believe the cancer is OUT of my body!!! Even with the negative margins in the breast tissue, I will still have to undergo radiation treatment but because the lymph nodes are now clear it will be limited to the breast area-that also decreases the chances of developing lymphodema-one of the complications that I was concerned about with regard to having more lymph nodes removed. This afternoon God reminded me of something He had kept me from while undergoing chemo as daddy was sharing with me that one of the tenants at my apartment complex asked him for a jump and when he told him that he was here to go to an appointment with his daughter, the man told him that his sister had stage 4 colon cancer and that the chemo had really done a number on her mind-he (her brother) was the only person she could remember. Had it not been for God's grace-there go I. I didn't mention above but as always me and daddy had fun in the doctor's office-lol. He had me rotfl (rolling on the floor) laughing! He was a bit on the delirous side and with his eyes closed said like a car, his "battery" was running low so he couldn't have everything going at once-thus his eyes were closed but he was still listening-LOL. TGBTG for laughter and His joy and for His HEALING!!!

Making Progress

Daddy headed out late this morning-have to readjust-we always have so much fun laughn and talking. He's also been my nurse-setting his clock and administering my pain medicine and stripping and draining the tube that is draining the area where the lymph nodes were removed(this morning he watched as I stripped and drained the tube to make sure I had it down)-and my butler-the only time I can wash dishes when he's here is if i do them like i did the past 2 mornings-washing them after my 3am dose of pain medicine when he's still only half awake and to tired to put up a "fight" lol. We made some more homemade chicken & veggie soup this time too-he chopped up the veggies for me and I seasoned (arm still recovering from surgery and not quite ready to carry out that motion). Last night we watched the DVD of a pastoral anniversary that he preached a couple Sundays ago-I was encouraged by it-the part that resonated with me was keep walking with Jesus no matter what; as he was coming to a close in the sermon "Jesus is Still on the Way" working from the account of the healing of Jairus' daughter, he said that in October his baby girl was diagnosed with cancer but it's not over-just as it was not over for Jairus' daughter-of course one difference is God has already begun healing me while I'm yet alive-I believe God encouraged him too through the sermon he gave him for that occassion. The recovery process from this second surgery has been more of a challenge than the 1st surgery. The real pain was on the front end duing the pre-surgery procedures. Post-surgery I didn't require any type of pain meds-not even tylenol. Tired and soreness were the only things I really had to deal with the 1st time around. This second time around I needed pain meds in the recovery room and on but I am thankful that aside from the 1st one or two doses that I took at home, I have only needed to take a half dose, range of motion in my shoulder was limited-going to really have to work at getting it back to where it was prior to surgery, and I have a tube in me that has to be drained twice a day. In spite of the challenge I am blessed to report that God is blessing me to make progress. My "physical therapy" has been washing and putting up dishes, last night God blessed me to add to that touching the bottom of the top part of the door frame, and this early this morning added to that-every time I come out of the bathroom I have to reach up and touch the bottom of the top part of the door frame-eventually the goal will be to touch the top of the top part of the door frame. I'm also blessed to report that the volume of the fluid that drained from the tube has gone from 60ml on Thursday morning to 10ml this morning. The nurse told us on Wednesday night that it would have to be at 15ml or below for the surgeon to remove the tube during the follow-up-TGBTG we're already there. The fluid also looks a lot clearer-not bloody like it was. Thursday night had one of "those moments"-because of the shape my shoulder was in, not being able to raise my hand very high at all-felt like it really needed a lot of work and earlier I messed up with pain meds. Since I had been on half doses, I thought I'd try to go the rest of the day without any pain medicine at all...but that didn't go so well. That pain shot up from about a 4 to a strong 7 and I had to go'on and take it...but TGBTG, He did not allow me to stay there but laid on my heart to listen to Mandisa's "Overcomer" before going to sleep. There's a part of that song that says "you might be down for a moment feeling like it's hopeless but that's when He reminds you. You're an overcomer, you're an overcomer...." Then yesterday one of my sisters in Christ came over and helped me get cleaned up and took a look at the dressing over the tube, to see if it needed to be changed or not. She said it looked great and noticed that I really didn't have much swelling at all and also shared with me that some have to have multiple "collection bulbs" for the drainage tube but that I was blessed to only have one. And you know to even be able to recover in the comfort of my own place rather than in the hospital is a blessing too. God is GOOD, He is still providing and still blessing. It is He Who is blessing me to make progress! "Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget not all His benefits;" Psalm 103:2

Another Step: Surgery Round 2 Complete

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits;" Psalm 103:2 What a fitting close to this morning's devotional. By God's grace, I know something about "his benenfits" for myself and I'm not speaking of just pre-diagnosis but at the time of the diagnosis and throughout this journey of overcoming. The measure of faith I have-one of "His benefits", the smile that has been on my face much of the way through-one of His benefits, after 4 rounds of chemo-a mass that's only 2% of what it was prior to chemo-that's one of His benefit, coming out of 1st surgery without the need of pain medicines and going home the same day-one of His benefits, encouraged just when I needed it (from God directly or via a brother/sister in Christ)-another one of His benefits, being kept by Him in the midst of the storm-one of His benefits, prayer warriors interceding on my behalf-yet another one of His benefits. I could go on and on and on and on and on about the many benefits of God that I can testify to for myself. Speaking of His benefits....yesterday daddy called me all fired up and hyped up enough for us all LOL-I could tell he was going to sleep well that night. Mom and granny were able to drive up to be there with me as well, and when we all walked in I was pleasantly surprised to see a dear big sister in Christ there waiting on us to arrive. Not long after 2 more sisters made it there and then 3 more sisters arrived closer to time for them to roll me back to the O.R.(Operating Room). Shortly after getting settled in the O.R. holding area, I left my area to go to the restroom before they started my IV, and when I came out started walking and was headed towards another patients holding area thinking it was mine, one of the nurses got my attention before I had enough time to reach out and pull back the curtain-Thank God for working that out because I agree with daddy, I may have seen something that I was not trying to see-lol. The nurse accessed my port for the IV this time rather than the usual vein in the arm. I was thankful for that because that meant only one poke rather than multiple attempts. Then I got to thinking and mentioned to daddy that I didn't know if they had that numbing spray or cream like what the chemo nurse used :-/ They didn't have either one of those but they did have novocaine which the nurse injected under the skin at the site of my port. However I still felt it when he was cleaning the area and I asked if it was working-thinking that if I could feel that, then I was definitely going to feel the needle going in to my port-lol, but he reassured me that I would be good. It was funny before the nurse got ready to stick the IV needle in my port, daddy started talkn about my blood pressure-saying that it was good and while he was still talking I said, "daddy you're running interference, trying to distract me" we both fell out laughing-he always tries to distract me and get my mind on something other than the needle that's getting ready to go in me; we laughed about that for a little while-LOL. Because they were running behind schedule yesterday, the nurse thought it would be better if we went ahead and prayed before the surgeon and anesthesiologist came to do the pre-surgery briefing. 3 of my sisters joined us and daddy prayed. Granny came back there to see me one more time before surgery, shortly after 2 more of my sisters arrived-talk about my pre-surgery comic relief LOL-had me rolln. While they were back there mom came back to see me one more time before surgery and then another sister arrived. Can we say CUTTING UP in the operating room holding area. Daddy said the nurses were starting to look at us like we were getting to loud. I figured it was because they were missing out on the fun. One of them asked if we were going to pray (not knowing we had already prayed), but of course I did not mind at all-daddy led the 2nd prayer too before they headed back out to the waiting area. One of the O.R. nurses came out to let us know that it would be a litle while longer....eventually both the surgeon and the anesthesiologist came to give us a pre-surgery breifing. He took a look at the incisions from last week and was surprised to hear that I had not needed any type of pain meds-not even tylenol. I asked the surgeon about the lymph node part of the procedure one more time. He explained the locations of the level 1,2,&3 lymph nodes and said that he was basically going to go in and remove a general section of tissue under my arm including the fatty tissue in which level 1 & 2 lymph nodes are embedded, which he projected to take 1.5hrs. He also mentioned that a drainage tube would be inserted and that they would show me how to take care of it. And the anesthesiologist said he was going to give me something to relax before giving me the meds to knock me out-I have a pretty relaxed and laid back personality-whatever that was he gave me hit me before we even left the part of the holding area I was in-lol. The last conversation I remember in the O.R. was one of the nurses telling me how his wife makes hats-next thing I knew I was thanking God again as I was being rolled into the recovery room. It seems like the nurse I had in the recovery room this time was more patient-let me lay there a little longer. Unlike last time I needed pain meds. And offered me crackers or graham crackers (they didn't do that last time-glad I had my own stash of graham crackers at the time-those who know me-know why this is significant-lol) When the surgeon came out to give a report he said the surgery went well but that it took him a little longer than he thought-3.5hrs rather than 1.5hrs. The nurse helped me get dressed and then showed both my dad and I how to empty the plastic bulb that is attached to the drainage tube. God blessed me to cut the pain medicine does in half and I am going to try to make it without any pain meds this evening-unless the pain gets too bad-I don't like taking prescriptions meds or meds in general. God has blessed me to be in better shape today than yesterday-another step in the journey-another step closer to the VICTORY. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits;" Psalm 103:2 TGBTG

Folow-up with Oncologist & Tomorrow's Surgery Clarified

Today I had a follow-up with my oncologist and I'm thankful that God worked it out that way (follow-up with oncologist before tomorrow's surgery). My oncologist shared with us that the chemo had diminished the mass to only 2% of what it was intially (God-sized results! God caused the chemo to be effective-no doubt in my mind about that-when I went to get my port flushed by one of the chemo nurses she even said that she thought I was going to have to have a mastectomy-that just goes to show you, God always has the final say regardless of what man thinks and what things look like). He also explained that after surgery I would need to get back on hercepton & projeta to complete a total of a year (already have some months counted toward that year as these 2 were administered during my chemo treatments) and there is also no toxicity from them (so shouldn't have any side effects like I had during chemo), but they would need to keep an eye on my heart. I asked him about the radiation treatments too. While that is not his specialty, he was able to share that typically radiation is everyday for a duration of an average of 6wks. The reason I mentioned above that I was glad that I saw my oncologist today was because from the phone conversation that I had with the surgeon yesterday afternoon, the plan was to reomove all of the lymph nodes from under my arm. However my oncologist said that he wasn't so much concerned with the lymph nodes that were deep but more so the lymph nodes that were superficial because I would have radiation treatments following the surgery and there also tend to be complications when all of the lymph nodes are removed. We made a note to follow-up with the surgeon to make sure he knew that I did not want to have all lymph nodes removed. Daddy called him after the appointment but they told him that the surgeon was in surgery all day today, so he just asked that the surgeon call him back. Daddy called this evening fired up (in the Lord)! He prayed with and encouraged me. Also shared that the surgeon did call him back today. In the convo, the surgeon clarified that there are 3 levels of lymph nodes and he feels that since 2 of the 4 lymph nodes biopsied had cancer cells in them, it's absolutely necessary to remove level 1 & level 2 lymph nodes but was not going to be digging around in muscle (from the conversation it was implied that that's where the level 3 lymph nodes are located). I was thankful to hear that. The surgeon is still going to shave off a little more tissue in my breast as mentioned in the previous post. Another praise report-it was confirmed that I will not have to go through the pre-surgery procedures that I had to go through last time-no radioactive dye injections(the most painful part of last weeks surgery) and no wires being inserted into my breast-"aint God GOOD!".

Surgeon's Phone Call: Results from Surgery

God blessed me to get some work done from home on Friday and what a blessed weekend it was. Lil bro came to visit from Kingsville on Saturday evening and then blessed to go to church rather than watching the service via live streaming and then on that night blessed to fellowship with my SWP fam and pastor and wife as they opened up their doors to us once again for our annual super bowl party. Even though the game hurt some of our feelings, we had SO MUCH FUN!!! Last year was fun but this year God blessed kicked it up a notch! I'm thankful that I didn't have to miss the super bowl & party due to surgery. Today one of my sisters relayed a message from my little neice, who said that she thought I was even prettier without hair. She told her mom to make sure she told me that she said it and not her mom-lol-God has kept me smiling throughout this whole process, and even gave me a poem called "I'm Still Smiling"-that message was just one of the ways He used to bring a smile to my face today. Btw I was also blessed go in to the office rather than working from home today. God has blessed my range of motion to improve too. I was suppose to recieve a call from the surgeon at the end of last week (Friday) as mentioned in a previous post but I did not get that call until this afternoon. The surgeon had spoken with my oncologist and both are in aggreement that though they got the negative margins they were looking for, but because it was so close to the edge and taking into account my age (so young), the cancer's level of aggression, they really want to maximize surgical therapy. To be safe, the surgeon wants to go in and shave off a little more tissue. He also said two of the lymph nodes that were removed during the surgery for biopsy were found to have cancer in them,so he would need to remove the rest of the lymph nodes that are under my arm. I asked him about going under anesthesia before feeling like I had regained my strength from Tuesday's surgery and still being sore but he assured me that it would not be a problem and that in fact the sooner the better, when it comes to healing and scarring, etc. The admin is holding a spot for me on Wednesday afternoon. I'm suppose to call and confirm Wednesday's surgery as well as get a time sometime tomorrow morning, which will have to be before or after the appointment with my oncologist(it's a follow-up appointment that was previously scheduled). The blessing is that God has given me a medical team that cares, knowledgable and that are truly seeking to do all that they can to rid my body of the cancer and to decrease the chances of recurrence as much as possible and they don't seem to be trying to cut any corners. That's not a given for everyone these days. Am I excited about having to go back into surgery or having to go through those pre-surgery procedures I mentioned in the previous post-no BUT TGBTG anyhow! I know God's still got me and I know that Romans 8:28 is still applicable; still holding true-"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Sometimes we can get hung up on those things we don't understand, but it does not say that only those things we understand work together for the good... but it says ALL things. It does not say only the things that are comfortable, easy to endure, and/or painless, but it says ALL things. God's word still holds true and there is no failure in God.