Reflections & Radiation Treatment Update

It's been a busy but BLESSED week. It's a blessing to be able to be busy-not just running around for the sake of running around but busy and running with purpose. God takes us through things in this life not for our destruction but for our good. Sometimes He's got to add some "serious" heat, other times a storm that won't seem to go away and then as the Best Husbandman/Master Gardener that there ever was and ever will be, He prunes us. Are the situations, circumstances and afflictions that He uses pretty, pleasant or appealing? rarely BUT that's why it's so important to walk by faith and not by sight. The situation will try to scare us but FAITH trusts God when He says, "be not afraid." The affliction may say, "I'm too much for you; I'm not going anywhere"; why do you continue to fight?" but FAITH says, "I'm not alone-my God will NEVER leave me nor forsake me, wherever I am He's right there with me" "In all things I've learned to be content...I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"; "I am more than a conqueror through Him that loved me." FAITH says yes I'm in this season for now but it won't always be this way." I'm still in this battle but God is still marching me right on through with a smile on my face-God is just Good like that! I know this journey is nothing compared to Job's journey but I'm reminded of how God subtracted, but He didn't leave Job in that condition. There was a point where He began to restore and to add more to Job more than what He had going into that trial. He looked better on the back end then he did on the front in. We say we want spiritual growth, we want to be closer to God, we want a deeper relationship with Him, and we want all that He has for us, but in order to achieve those things, God is going to have to take us through some fire, some storms and He's going to have to prune us and it's not just one and done BUT we can rejoice in the purpose and in the fact that God is at work in our lives, and that He loves us that much and that He's with us. Yes He'll do some subtracting but as with Job there's a season of restoration and increase, if we will trust God and persevere in the strength that flows from Him. God has already began to restore and give increase even in the midst of this battle as He we continue on toward "cancer free." From the something as simple as my hair growing back steadily, to my first time back in the choir stand this week-choir rehearsal with the women's chorus, to the first big mentor/mentee event since the adjustments that had to be made following my very first chemo treatment-being a part of that program is one of my favorite things about my job-in addition to getting to see me mentee and my other adopted mentees-we were all excited to see eachother, I was blessed to conversate with another mentee who's mentor was not able to be there. Then there's the restoration of physical strength-pretty close to lifting as heavy as I was lifting prior to chemo and the surgeries, out and about running around (not quite at the level I was before but still quite a bit more than I had been able to lately). In the way of increase, the testimony that God has already given me thus far, the special project that I mentioned in the previous post. What a Mighty Good God; What an AWESOME God we serve. Yesterday God blessed me to recieve radiation treatment #13, which was the last of the first phase of radiation. The treatment fields for the next 12 are shifted slightly from the first phase-junction shift. To prepare for this 2nd phase, instead of receivng radiation this morning as I usually would, the tech conducted a mock verification-like what she did the day before my first radiation treatment-took x-rays, outlined the fields on my skin with a marker and took pics for the dr. to review-it's basically a dry run so the dr. can confirm that the areas that she has prescribed in my radiation treatment plan would have been treated had it been the real thing. The tech cannot start the next phase of radiation prior to the dr's review and approval. As before, I'm glad I didn't have to be out in public aside from work and visiting too much today because some of the outlined field is visible-lol. I'm thankful I've not experienced any of the "sunburn" type side effect from the radiation treatments. I thank God for continuing to keep me, for His GOODNESS, GRACE, and MERCY.

Reflections: God's Goodness and 1st Double Treatment (Radiation & Chemo)

I'm on the fatigued side as I type this evening's post BUT God is good and He's still given me SO MANY reasons to say thank you. For each day of life, for His presence and His faithfulness in each day of life, for His keeping power and healing power that is yet at work in me and for His grace and mercy that is sufficient for each and everyday that He gives us on this side of glory. In addition to that God has also really been blessing and lining things up regarding a special project that He's given me-more on that in a later post BUT as the Planet Shakers put it in their song, "Big"-God's plans for me go beyond my wildest dreams... It's been a busy week, with the special project I mentioned above (btw this is a project outside of work and I would hope minds would not wonder in the wrong direction in trying to guess but just in case-yes it is legal-lol), driving out of town and back for work yesterday following my radiation treatment for the day, back to the office for the remaining time at work, then visiting a dear sister who's always a joy to be around, and today my first day of double treatment-radiation followed by chemo and then a 3hr work-related meeting after that. Still got my weight training in Mon-Wed this week and God-willing will get some cardio in on tomorrow (today would have normally been a cardio day too but it has been my practice on chemo days not to do any workout on the day of). Even a busy week is a blessing because I remember when-I remember when I had to pretty much stay in my apartment; I remember when I wouldn't have even attempted to drive out of town on my own; I remember when I had to rehab my arm and workout at home because I wasn't ready to be back in the gym yet-God has increased my strength pretty close to the weight that I was lifting before the diagnosis and treatments-the intensity is more comparible to that time frame to. Last weekend just to be able to pretty much have a singles ministry day (that's what it felt like)-real talk that morning-Blessed time there, then that evening movies and dinner-God really blessed the fellowship the whole day-I remember when I wouldn't have been able to do that because of the effects of the pre-surgery chemo. God is Good. Anyway I guess I ought to get to today's treatments and dr's visit. It's just that we have to be so careful not to leave God out by losing sight of His presence, His blessings and the importance of staying prayed up and armored up, not just some of the time but all the time because the enemy is always looking for a place to get a foothole, ways to distract, discourage and tear down. What we go through/are going through is only a part of a much larger picture. So back to todays treatments for real now-lol. Radiation was smooth sailing once again. The tech got me lined up perfectly on the first try, so short and sweet yet again and no burning as a result of the skin exposure. After that we (me and daddy-always enjoy our bonding time:-))met briefly with the assistant who works for both my overall breast care dr and my chemo dr. The main take away from that follow up was that I have to fininsh a year's worth (total of 17 treatments with the Projeta & Hercepton). Today was treatment 12 of the the 13 treatments remaining. If I'm not mistaken there will be only one more occassion where I have both radiation and chemo on the same day as radiation is only Mon-Fri. for 6wks. While undergoing chemo I was also informed by one of the chemo nurses that I will need to come in tomorrow for that Neupogen shot. I didn't have to do this following last month's chemo but they wanted me to go ahead and do it this time because my bloodwork analysis from earlier this week revealed that my white blood cells needed a little boost. The explanation she gave as to why that was is that my body is still recovering from the doses of Taxotere (pre-surgery chemo). As a refresher, the Taxotere is not specific in it's fight against cancer-it's approach is to attack everything that's dividing rapidly which is why it tends to pull down immune system, cause hair, nail, and digestive system issues. I've still tried not to be around people who are coughing and have under indications of being sick and God has been keeping me in that area as well. He's good like that:-) If God says the same, tomorrow is the last radiation treatment for this week-FRIDAY!!!

1st Radiation Treatment In the Books: Short & Sweet

I had my 1st radiation treatment this morning-stopped by the center on my way to work and was in and out in roughly 20mins. It would have taken less time then that but everyday before the actual treatment can commence the tech will have to take an x-ray and compare it to the x-rays from yesterday. If they don't match then she has to re-adjust my position on the platform and take another x-ray and compare. These steps have to be repeated until the x-rays match. Though I still had my "tattoos" and the mat the was molded to my upper body-alignment was still not as simple a task as one might imagine and it took a couple attempts for her to get me positioned such that the x-rays matched. She then told me I would hear a buzzing sound, which would be the indicator that she was treating. 3 fields were treated(as mentioned in the previous post). The platform that I was laying on stayed still while a part of the machine rotated around to the different angles. Now before I share how brief the treatment really was, I want to make it known that I did verify my estimation of the length of time with the tech. I was shocked myself-lol but the treating of the 1st and 2nd fields each took 30 secs a piece and the 3rd field took 1 min. Following the treating of each of the 1st 2 fields she checked my alignment. And that was it-pain free. God keeps on blessing. I do have to mention this though-my daddy wasn't here for this one as he is planning to be here on Friday since following every Friday radiation treatment, I will have to meet with the dr. One of my dear sisters in Christ offered to be there with me but since I wasn't expecting the treatment last long (though I didn't realize it would be as short as it was) I didn't want to have her driving all the way across town but then another dear sister pretty much asked me what time it was told me she was coming-not much I could say to that-lol but I'm thankful for them both (and for all of the others that God has placed in my life, who are there for me and praying for me).

Just that quick...

This morning not long after arriving at work I recieved a call from the radiology tech asking if I could come in for what I thought would be my first treatment, but when I was escorted back to the radiation treatment area, it was clarified that today they would be doing some more prep work. This included lying platform on top of the upper body mat that had been molded to my body (part of last week's simulation) underneath the radiation equipment in the exact same position that I would be lying in for each treatment, which I was informed will begin tomorrow morning. While lying there the radiology tech lined me up (orientated me with the machine) according to my tattoos (the small permanent ink dots they strategically applied to my skin during the simulation last Thursday). While in that position, she took x-rays in the 3 different fields that the radiation will be administered-2 of the fields are in the breast area but the difference from what I understood is in the angle and instensities. The 3rd field is in the clavicle area. She outline the fields in with a sharpy before also taking pics. I'm glad I could come straight home after work one of the some of the outline went up my neck and was visible when I put my clothes on and I was thinking some may be questioning my sanity after seeing part of my neck marked up-lol. While there I was also informed that I would have to see the dr. after every Friday treatment to keep tabs on how the treatments are progressing. When I asked about burning as a result of the radiation I was told that fatigue is the main side-effect experienced but that some do get a "sun burn"-like effect in the area that's recieving the radiation, though it usually does not occur until weeks into it and varies from person to person, so I may or may not experience it. I still count these as minor things compared to all that God has brought me through thus far and am looking forward to getting this part of the treatment process knocked out. 6wks is not long at all considereing and I believe God has already blessed me to get through the most challenging part of the treatment process-should be short and sweet as the saying goes. I'll still have my chemo with the Hercepton and Projeta every 3 weeks until I hit the target number of 17 (5 down 12 to go), so there will be somedays where I will have the radiation and then go straight to chemo BUT God is with me and I can do ALL things through Christ Who gives me strength.

Ready Set...Wait

I'm blessed and thankful to report that a week (and some change) after the treatment with the Hercepton and Projeta, the side effects have been limited to fatigue and God has blessed me to get more naps in too as needed-He's good like that- always has a way of working it out and providing for our needs. In the last post I mentioned that I would have to have a scan done in preparation for the radiation treatments. Well it was actually what they call a simulation (for the radiation treatments). While it did include a quick CT scan, that was not all. While laying on the platform that slides in and out of the CT machine, the radiologist put an inflatable mat underneath my upperbody that they then let air in and back out of so that it would mold to the shape of my body. He also placed some strategic marks on me with a sharpy, took measurements and came back and used a needle and ink to make permanent dots in those locations (4 or 5 different spots). I told him that was the closest to a tattoo that I would ever get because I don't like needles like that-lol. Pics were also taken for reference. I had been in that particular room before, as I had had to have a CT scan to check for indications of cancer in other parts of my body (PRAISE God for not allowing it to spread further than the breast and lymph nodes), but this time as I was laying there looking up at the ceiling, God brought to my attention a cross that was carved out of one of the ceiling tiles. I mentioned it to the radiologist who said that it's used for lasers (I'm guessing that it directs the laser's light. The significance of it to me was the reminder that though in a new phase of treatment, God was saying to me, "new phase, but I'm still here." All of the components of the simulation are meant to aid in making sure that I'm in the exact same position everyday I come in for radiation. Now about that treatment...I was initially scheduled to begin the radiation treatments on the 10th, which is tomorrow. However when I called to find out what time I needed to be there for each treatment, I was told that my treatment plan (the radiation part of it) was still being worked on and that they'd give me a call on Monday morning or afternoon to let me know. So I'm pretty sure the radiation start date will be delayed by atleast a day and I was looking forward to getting it going-the sooner the start, the sooner the finish, but I know God's still got me covered and there's a reason He's allowed it to be so. While the enemy will try to convince us otherwise, delay is by no means reason to be discouraged (granted sometimes when we're first made aware of a delay, we may go there for a moment-more importantly we must not stay there). I remember when instead of starting my very 1st chemo treatment on a Tuesday, God, Who ALWAYS does what's BEST and Who tells us in His word (Romans 8:28) "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose", that allowed it to be delayed until the Thursday of that same week. That Tuesday I came in fasted because I had not been informed by the staff either way but found out that having food in the stomach is encouraged. I think I would have had more issues as far as reactions to that 1st treatment (both during and after)had I recieved it on that Tuesday rather than that Thursday. I still trust His plan and His timing-He still knows BEST and is still working it out for His glory and for my good.